6.8 SPC Forums banner
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,342 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i wish it rained beer. have you ever thought about beer? i suppose it's one of the oldest forms of preserving food, take your extra grain and make beer. put in a storage container and in times of need have a beer to keep you going. it was a good idea, but fell completely apart when the ancients had their first kegger party. i think i'll file a patent on beer
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
634 Posts
Since the patent office seems to give them for obviously stuff that hasn't even been designed yet (especially by the patent claimer) they may go for a patent on beer just make a print with a lot of chemical symbols they won't understand and tell them it's a new cure for the thirst lol.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
22,078 Posts
BEER TROUBLESHOOTING CHART



Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.

Action: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

Symptom: Feet warm and wet.

Fault: Improper bladder control.

Action: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

Symptom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.

Fault: Glass empty.

Action: Get someone to buy you another beer

Symptom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

Fault: You have fallen over backward.

Action: Have yourself lashed to bar.

Symptom: Mouth contains cigarette butts.

Fault: You have fallen forward.

Action: See above.

Symptom: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

Fault: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

Action: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

Symptom: Floor blurred.

Fault: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

Symptom: Floor moving.

Fault: You are being carried out.

Action: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

Symptom: Room seems unusually dark.

Fault: Bar has closed.

Action: Confirm home address with bartender.

Symptom: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.

Fault: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.

Action: Cover mouth.

Symptom: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

Fault: You are dancing on the table.

Action: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

Symptom: Beer is crystal-clear.

Fault: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.

Action: Punch him.

Symptom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

Fault: You have been in a fight.

Action: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

Symptom: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.

Fault: You've wandered into the wrong party.

Action: See if they have free beer.

Symptom: Your singing sounds distorted.

Fault: The beer is too weak.

Action: Have more beer until your voice improves.

Symptom: Don't remember the words to the song.

Fault: Beer is just right.

Action: Play air guitar
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
358 Posts
Baltika #6 porter. Enjoy the first one, feel no pain with the second and don't even think about standing with the third one. LOL
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
22,078 Posts
Baltika #6 porter. Enjoy the first one, feel no pain with the second and don't even think about standing with the third one. LOL
Never had it... need to try it. I LIKES my beer potent!! Not less than 7%, eh? :a44: And, a DARK beer to boot !?!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,342 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
and i can't have beer anymore, if i make 75 i'm gonna have my beer again
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
12,227 Posts
I don't drink beer anymore. At least not often. Now I just mostly drink Coors light. It's the water!
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
22,078 Posts
Yesterday/today... my FIRST days off in over two months !!! Got a TON of yard work done before noon, it's beer-thirty now... and smelling the smoker doing it's thing to the ribs/chicken.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
12,227 Posts
Well it's time. The smoker is going, the Coors Light is tasty, it's still hotter 'n hell out there. Heat index is 100 at 7:15 EST.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
358 Posts
Never had it... need to try it. I LIKES my beer potent!! Not less than 7%, eh? :a44: And, a DARK beer to boot !?!
It's 7%. Ask your local supplier to get a case. 20 to a case 16 ounce bottles. Heck, if you don't like it I might just show up on your door step!!
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
22,078 Posts
It's 7%. Ask your local supplier to get a case. 20 to a case 16 ounce bottles. Heck, if you don't like it I might just show up on your door step!!
What's NOT to "like"? Sounds ideal !
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,732 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
833 Posts
Sven and Ole was fishing one day and it got hot.

Ole gets a big pull on the rod and reels up a big mess o weeds and mud

Sven is laughing hard as Ole is cleaning it off his line and finds it has a urn stuck to it.

Sven wipes it all off and opens the urn and a big Geni comes out.

Genie says since you cleaned off my container and released me I can give ya one wish








Sven looks around and says I'm awfully thirsty, I wish the whole lake was Beer!!!!

Poof the whole lake turns into a beautiful bright yellow Lager










Ole gets over his shock quickly and starts yelling at Sven

Sven, Sven, Sven, you dolt NOW We has to pee in the boat!!!!!!.
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top